SEXCELLENCE!
With a jerk, the plain touched down, the screaming of the engines mass decelerating filling the cabin. Tucked into their seats, straps across their laps, sat Roger Wright and Al Envy, both men with a glass of amber liquid in their hands. During the whole landing procedure, neither man flinched, and as the plane was taxing, neither man seemed to pay it any attention. Instead the two of them sat in silence, sipping their drinks, the window shades of the leer jet pulled down.
As the plane finally came to a halt, both men stirred and moved for the door, it swinging open as the steps were pulled up to the plane. Finally Envy who was in the lead looked back at Roger. “It’s time brother!” He said slapping Roger on the shoulder as the two departed the plane in the private section of the DFW airport. Crowds of people stood behind a red rope barrier screaming for both of them. Men and women all pushing each other, some holding signs, others just jumping up and down trying to get Roger and Al’s attention.
Walking along the tarmac, neither man seemed to pay too much attention to the screaming fans, both of them simply smiling on the inside, until Al who led the way came to a screeching halt, Roger nearly running him over. “You ok there?” Roger asked as he came up beside Al, the mans eyes fixated on the large buss that was awaiting them.
“Does that say what I think it says?” Raising his right hand Al pointed at the bus as he asked the question.
“Hell yes it does. You like it?” A grin crossed Roger’s face as he watched Al’s eyes light up.
“Sexcellence!” Pausing for a moment, neither man spoke. “That is fucking awesome.” Grinning wide, Al and Roger both took off for the buss, walking with even more vigor in their step.
Just as the two men reached the bus, the doors slid open and out poured the famous Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. Al nearly jumped at the sight, his eyes lighting up, as Jerry Jones strode out of the bus behind the women. “Gentleman.” He said with a smile on his face.
“Hot damn, if it isn’t the only part of the Dallas Cowboys that isn’t overrated.” Al said as he winked at a few of the women, while shaking hands with Jerry Jones. Roger following suit shortly there after.
“Glad you said that Envy.” Jerry Jones turned his attention back to Al. “That is why on behalf of the great state of Texas and city of Dallas, we are hereby renaming them the Excessive Excellence cheerleaders!” Jerry slapped Al on the shoulder as both men stood nearly speechless from what they had just heard. “Oh and make sure you stop by the stadium, huge party tonight for you boys.” And with a wink, Jerry walked away, both Roger and Al left starring and smiling at each other.
Finally after a long moment of silence, both men swatted at each other as they ran for the door of the bus, Roger getting the early lead, but Envy tripping him at the last second, Roger slamming into the side of the bus as Al boarded. “I win bitch!” Al announced as Roger came stumbling up the steps and onto the luxury liner.
Throwing both mens bags in the underside of the bus, Shane boarded and took the drivers seat, many of the Excessive Excellence cheerleaders climbing onto the bus after him. Closing the door, Shane shifted the rig into gear and slowly the Sexcellence buss pulled out of the airport.
In the back Roger and Envy cranked the music and poured the drinks, the two of them starting the party early, and on their bus. For nearly an hour the bus drove through the streets of Dallas, more and more cars following it as it made it’s way to Cowboy’s stadium. Inside Al and Roger were partying it up with their cheerleaders. But that’s when Al started acting crazy, spitting out words that weren’t words, and finally disappearing into the bathroom.
15 minutes in the bathroom, and Roger began to worry about Al, so he knocked but there was no response. Again he knocked and there was nothing. The music in the back of the bus stopped as the cheer leaders gathered around behind Roger, all of them looking on with scared looks of worry. Finally Roger lifted his foot and kicked the door open, on the floor lay Al, his tongue sticking out of his mouth, and that’s when one of the cheerleaders let out a guttural scream.
“What?” Roger’s head shot around trying to figure out what was going on, searching for the woman who had screamed.
“The mirror!!!!” A blonde in the back pointed, and Roger’s eyes went to the mirror in the bathroom. There written on the mirror in what looked like red lip stick were the words, RED RUM!
“What the hell?” Roger feverishly looked around the bus, his eyes making contact with each of the women, the fear in their eyes rising at the sight of his own fear. That’s when suddenly Al leapt to his feet and charged the doorway of the bathroom.
“HEEEERRRREEEE’S ENVY!!!!” Al said with a sinister tone in his voice as The women screamed and ran towards the front of the bus, both Roger and Al breaking down laughing, laughing so hard that Roger had to sit down before he fell down.
Coming to a stop, the women turned around and glared at the two who were both literally doubled over with laughter. “What the hell is so funny?” The blonde asked, stepping forward as if she was the spokeswoman for the troupe.
“You guys, running off all scared!” Roger couldn’t hardly finish, his face was turning red from laughing so hard.
“I don’t get.” One of the women announced.
“The Shining!” Envy replied, the words barely escaping his lips as he continued to laugh.
“What the hell does that have to do with anything? I thought you got attacked by that guy Redrum?” The blonde announced.
“You can’t be serious!” Roger exclaimed as he got a hold of himself and stopped laughing. “Redrum is what Jack Nicholson’s...” Roger paused as it all clicked and he turned to look at Envy. “Dude!” It was all he said and Envy nodded as if knowing exactly what he meant.
“I know!” He finally said, as he began to laugh, Roger following suit shortly after.
“What the hell now?” The blonde asked as the bus came to a halt outside of the Cowboy’s stadium.
“His name, it’s a rip off of a movie, and I never even freaking realized it. How fucking sad is your life when you have to rip off a god damn movie?” Roger and Al both got a hold of themselves as Roger finished the statement. “Kind of hard to take the guy seriously you know?” Shaking his head Roger moved towards the front of the bus, a smirk on his face.
Taking a moment longer to catch his breath, Al slowly made his way up the bus towards the front. Filing off first were the women, followed by Roger and Al both men stopping and staring in awe of what lay before them. Outside of Cowboy’s stadium was the expected thousand, upon thousands of screaming fans, but what was behind them shocked both Roger and Al.
There standing nearly 40 feet tall were Golden statues, the likeness of Roger and Al. Behind the statues stood the stadium, it’s sing not reading Cowboys stadium, but Excessive Excellence stadium, pictures of Al and Roger on either said of the lettering. After a long moment the two managed to keep moving forward, smiles on their faces as the music began to blast through out the parking lot, a beautiful woman handing each of them drinks as the Excessive Excellence cheerleaders began to dance, the crowd joining in.
From their right appeared Jerry Jones again. “I figured the stadium should be renamed after someone from this state that could win.” He said with a smile on his face.
“Well it’s about damn time that you recognized greatness!” Envy said as he slammed back his drink. “Hell we are the best tag team this damn industry has ever seen.” Grabbing another drink, Envy slapped Roger on the back. “Undefeated to be exact!”
“Well then it would seem the stadium is now appropriately named.” Jerry said as he turned and disappeared into the crowd of people.
Turning to Roger, Al smiled and slammed the second drink. “Time to party!” He yelled as he grabbed another drink and made his way towards the statues, his eyes fixated on the image of himself that was towering over the crowd.
Behind Al, came Roger, his drink in hand. Settling up next to Al, the two mens stared at the statues with looks of awe on their faces, much like an eight year old catching a glimpse of his first pair of tits. “That’s awesome!” Roger said, as Al’s face turned a bit sour.
“What the fuck is up with that?” Al asked as he pointed at the statue. “Is this some kind of sick joke?” The crowd behind him turned his direction, everyone interested in what exactly Al was talking about. After a few moments the music cut, and the crowds full attention was on Al. “Why the hell does it look like my statue has no fucking cock? Yet Roger’s looks like there is a god damn Squirrel in his pants?”
Murmurs broke out through the crowd, but there was no answer. “Al I don’t...”
Cutting Roger off, Al jumped up onto the base of the statues and began to unbutton his pants. “This thing is like 40 feet tall, there for its about 6 and half times my size. Meaning my cock should be between 60 and 66 inches long on this damn thing. Yet the fucking crotch is a smooth front!”
“Al get down!” Roger yelled at him, but it was too late, Al had his pants off and was showing the world his dick, the women screaming, the men starring in awe. “Put that damn thing away!”
“What’s that mommy?” A little kid in the crowd screamed!
Roger’s head snapped around scanning the crowd, his eyes fixating on the little kid, his mother standing next to him. “Who the hell brings a little kid to this kind of party?” Even as Roger asked the question, his eyes fixated on the toy in the boys hand, a Jake Youngblood figure.
“Don’t tell me how to raise my boy!” The woman barked back.
“Oh never. Hell I think it is good that you brought him here, fuck his life up before it ever gets going.” Roger walked over to the woman as Al continued to swing his dick around in circles, the women yelling and cheering in the background. Snatching the toy from the boys hand, Roger starred at it, and then at the boys shirt.
“Al!” Roger yelled, finally turning his head and yelling again. “That piece of shit Youngblood has a god damn T-shirt out! How the fuck did that waste of space get a god damn shirt already?” Al pulled his pants up and jumped down off of the base of the statues and came towards Roger.
“I’ll be fucking damned.” He said as he starred at the kids shirt. “Security get this little fairy loving piece of shit out of here!” Withing seconds of Envy’s words the security guards were dragging the kids mom and the kid away. “No not her, she stays.” Envy said, pointing at the kids mom.
“Why does she stay?” Roger asked, look of confusion on his face. “She’s fat and ugly, and ain’t got no teeth.”
“Gumjob!” Was the only word that escaped Al’s mouth as he starred at the toy in Roger’s hand. His eyes scanning back up to Roger with that what the fuck look in his eyes.
“One sec.” Roger said as he placed the toy on the base of the statues and stood back. “It’s a physical representation of our career’s versus what youngblood’s will amount too!” Both men began to laugh as Al wrapped his arm around the woman.
“How about we get that music going and get this party in gear again!?” Al yelled out, the music kicking up a mere moments later. “I’ll be back in a few minutes Rodge!” Al said as he and the woman vanished into the bus named Sexcellence! Roger left outside to drink, to party, and to mingle, his eyes fixating on the blonde cheerleader that had taken up the mantle of spokeswoman.
